Alchemizing envy...

We've all been there.

There's that one Barbie on Instagram you just can't seem to unfollow even though you're secretly super annoyed by how Pinterest-worthy their life looks.

Or there's that friend of a friend who's husband actually might be Mr.Perfect and you find yourself somewhere between barfing and bawling every time you leave their dinner party *cue self-pity, Rom-Coms and a pint of ice cream for dessert*

And what about that girl from high school who's parents always paid for everything and now she travels the world as some sort of adventure-influencer and you think, "Must be nice!" as you scrub stuck boogers off your six year old's bedroom wall.

I know the feeling.

It's not quite jealousy.

It's not totally disgust.

It's envy.

Which for most of us is a word that packs some baggage of shame or shan't.

Like, we'd never admit out-loud that we're secretly obsessed with our perfectly lean yoga teacher and her hot surfer-vibes boyfriend with the 'Dog Dad' bumper sticker on his jade Jeep Wrangler.

Yet, we find ourselves rearranging our schedule for her class just in case he makes an appearance and we can daydream about their sex life while everyone else meditates in Shavasana.

That's right. I went there.

But, what if envy was actually a key ingredient in cooking up your best life?

What if envy is the piece you've been missing when you try to manifest your dream job, but instead become an affirmation-spewing-robot with nothing to show for it?

Well, Reader, that just may be the case.

You see, feeling envious isn't actually a bad thing at all.

In fact, it's the perfect way to get crystal clear about your personal preferences and deepest desires-so you can finally begin co-creating the life you truly want.

The life that's most aligned with who you really are-on a core level.

If we can learn to embrace our envy, we can use it as a catapult towards our juiciest reality yet.

Because when our subconscious brain sees something it really wishes to experience-and we witness this real-life person having that experience-we can classify said experience as possible for us, too.

However! The kicker here is letting go of any judgement we have towards ourselves in admitting that we do quite actually want what that lucky duck has-so the shame is replaced by radical honesty.

Now, instead of cringing at that hipster's highlight-reel, you can soak in all the high vibes of their vacation pics and remind yourself that if they can have the dream life, gosh darn it, you can too!

Want a more practical way to go about this?

Make an "Expanders List" (taken from To Be Magnetic which I rave about often and share their free meditation track here plus drop my coupon code to their membership right overrrr here)

Note the 5-10 people you envy the most-because when you get down to it, you'd love to have something they have.

Try to diversify a bit here. Like find one person who has the dopest career and another who's killing the partnership game. That one friend who pulls off both the trendiest and most eccentric wardrobe? Definitely write them down.

Are they on Instagram? Even better!

Use the 'Favorites' option to star all your enviable angels-so you can literally expand your horizons with every post they make or story they share popping right to the top of your feed. (If you need help doing this just LMK and I'll send you a screenshare!)

Again, the ticket here is in your ability to reframe how you're binging their content so you can stop being a hater and start viewing them as a motivator.

Important: if you find that, in fact, this person does just make you feel down right bad about yourself, click the ole' Unfollow button!

Some people truly are so perfectly curated that it's impossible to really relate and see yourself in their shoes (and that probably means they're trying really hard to be perceived as perfect and that level of fake won't get you anywhere, anyhow.)

Long story short, we live in a wild world where we feed our brains an insane amount of information on the daily,

So make sure you're not only conscious of what you're feeding your brain, but how mindfully and intentionally you're sippin' that hot tea.

Oh, and this is super useful in real life too. So next time you're at Mr. & Mrs. Perfects' dinner party, focus less on how puke-y their PDA is and more on what's really special about their partnership. What do they seem to have going for them that you'd love to have in a relationship? And can you spot the ways they make an asserted effort to cultivate this love-fest?

Take note of the action steps that your expanders are taking that might also be useful for you to try on, too!

As always, if you wanna riff on this more or think I'm completely bat-shit crazy and wanna call bullshit,

Hit reply or shoot me a DM on the gram!